Can You Spare a Square?
April 23, 2007
This was sitting on Drudge this morning, just waiting for a Seinfeld parody from me!!!
Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.
GRETA:
what a dope!
uh..excuse me
umm.. I’m sorry
this is.. this is kind of embarrassing but.. there’s no toilet paper over here
SHERYL CROW:
(from the stall on my right)
are you talking to me?
GRETA:
yeah.. I
I just forgot to check
so if you could just spare me some
SHERYL CROW:
no I’m sorry
GRETA:
what?
SHERYL CROW:
no I’m sorry, I can’t spare it
GRETA:
you can’t spare it??
SHERYL CROW:
no there’s not enough to spare. We must all do our part to save the world from Global Warming. If that means no toilet paper for you – too stinking bad!
GRETA:
well I don’t need much, just 3 squares will do it
SHERYL CROW:
I’m sorry I don’t have a square to spare, now if you don’t mind
GRETA:
3 squares? you can’t spare 3 squares??
SHERYL CROW:
no I don’t have a square to spare, I can’t spare a square. You are destroying the planet with your wasteful use of toilet paper!
GRETA:
oh is it two-ply? cause it it’s two-ply I’ll take one ply, one ply, one, one
puny little ply, I’ll take one measly ply
SHERYL CROW:
look, I don’t have a square and I don’t have a ply (flushing and leaving)
GRETA:
no no, no no, don’t don’t, I beg you. I’ll recycle more – I promise!!!!
Posted in Funny, Global warming, This & That
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April 23rd, 2007 at 6:31 am
LOL!
How much do y’all want to bet that Sheryl doesn’t practice what she preaches? Wouldn’t be that uncommon for those who preach global warming, who want everyone else to do something, but refuse to do it themselves.
April 23rd, 2007 at 10:26 am
Milt told me about this, this a.m. I told him to tell Sheryl to go Fudge herself!!! and you know that is not what I said!!!
April 23rd, 2007 at 12:06 pm
So when Stinky Butt Crow travels via private jet, does she use one-ply or two-ply? Inquiring minds want to know.
Heh, I guess now we’re happy that she’s been keeping that one hand in her pocket. Ewwww!
April 23rd, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Good one, Greta. That’s one of my favorite episodes.
April 23rd, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Maybe there is a diarea offset you can buy
April 23rd, 2007 at 3:32 pm
I’m going to go home and crap a CROWE and use extra toidy paper to clean it up with!
April 23rd, 2007 at 6:04 pm
I can’t even use one square to wipe my nose let alone my… well, you know.
April 23rd, 2007 at 10:09 pm
Greta,
That is a good one. There is a point of absurdity with caring for this planet. We may have to go back to using leaves as people used to do before toilet paper or newspaper, although that would be wasteful to even have newspaper. Using leaves might be harmful to the environment, certainly messy – good for plumbers. Has Sheryl mentioned that we need to get rid of cows. Poor things!
Mom